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Stop Looking at Me by Larry John
People buy expensive clothes, shoes and jewelry and spend millions getting their hair done so that other people will look at them. But as soon as we do they say, “Stop looking at me.” It’s almost like it hurts if someone looks at you 5-10 seconds too long. It is as though the possibility of my eyes meeting your eyes for longer than 5 seconds is socially inconceivable. You can even look at a person’s nose for 5 seconds and they will start wiping it, as if by looking at their nose mere seconds too long they feel there could be an unsightly something dangling there. And all you were doing was looking at their nose. I can imagine Bogart saying the line “Here’s looking at you, kid,” to Bergman and having her say, “Stop it. I don’t want you looking at me; it makes me nervous. I hate it when you look at me. It’s not polite. It is unacceptable. It is just plain wrong.” The rule seems to be…Look, but not too long. Think about it.
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